Sarah wants to banish Hagar and her son,
Ishmael, from the family encampment, and prevent Ishmael from inheriting from
his father Abraham. Sarah, who brought Hagar into Abraham’s tent for the
express purpose of producing a son for Abraham, now regrets that decision. She
demands:
“Cast out
that slave-woman and her son, for the son of that slave shall not share in the
inheritance of my son Isaac.”
Sarah claims to be protecting Isaac’s
inheritance. Really? As the only son by Abraham’s wife -- for Hagar is his
concubine -- there is no question that Isaac will inherit from his father.
In an effort to justify Sarah, generations
of commentators have pointed to this verse:
Sarah saw
the son whom Hagar the Egyptian had borne to Abraham playing (m’tzacheik). (Genesis 21:9)
Commentators have attributed nefarious
actions to Ishmael, ranging from taunting to abuse. Yet the word m’tzecheik means “play” or “laugh.”
Strikingly, it is the very same root -- tzadi/chet/kuf
-- as Isaac’s name, Yitzhak. Perhaps the text is simply saying that the two
brothers were playing. Or more, that they were “Isaac-ing” around. Playing
“Isaac Chess.” Perhaps Ishmael’s “crime” was that he was an excellent big brother to Isaac, and
Sarah was overcome with jealousy that she now shared Isaac’s time, attention,
love and devotion with a big brother.
Certainly the Torah provides ample evidence that Sarah’s motivations had more to do with jealousy than Isaac’s inheritance or Abraham’s welfare. We read last week in parshat Lech Lecha that Sarai (before her name was changed to Sarah) gave her maidservant Hagar to Abram (before his name was changed to Abraham) in the hopes that Hagar would produce a son that Sarai would adopt as her own. The pain of infertility is intense and Sarai is desperate. But no sooner is Hagar pregnant, than Sarai is overcome with anger and resentment.
[Avram]
cohabited with Hagar and she conceived; and when [Hagar] saw that she had
conceived, her mistress was lowered in her esteem. And Sarai said to Abram,
“The wrong done me is your fault! I myself put my maid in your bosom; now that
she sees that she is pregnant, I am lowered in her esteem. The Lord decide
between you and me!” (Genesis 16:4-6)
Sarai’s jealousy is palpable.
Now years later, Sarah has a son of her
own. Isaac is playing with Ishmael, who is “Isaac-ing around” with him, playing
games that delight the young Isaac, much as Danny played with Jonah and so many
older brothers play with their younger brothers. Jonah was thrilled with
Danny’s attention. Imagine how much Isaac must enjoy the attention and playful affection
of his older brother.
Hagar received Abraham’s attention and
now Ishmael receives Isaac’s attention. Sarah feels like a fifth wheel. Sensing
that she has lost the love and attention of both her husband and son to this
maidservant and her son, Sarah contrives to rid herself of both interlopers.
How much of what we do, how many of the
decisions we make, and how often are our opinions of others, driven more by
jealousy than anything else. We repress that we are motivated by jealousy. It
feels unseemly. We don’t want to know. We prefer to believe loftier things,
such as a heritage or the well-being of others, motivate us. We spin narratives,
like Sarah, to explain our motives and behaviors. Then we, like Sarah, come to
believe our own stories. When we do this, we are prisoners of our jealousy, letting
it control our decisions and actions, not just our feelings. By honestly and
courageously facing that jealousy, and accepting that it is a universal human
experience -- not a character defect -- we can rise above our shame or
self-delusion. We can wrest control, and commit to more worthy motivations.
And who knows, when we defang the
green-eyed monster, refusing to give it power over our lives, the jealousy
might just dissipate.
© Rabbi Amy Scheinerman
(Special thanks to Leslie Glassberg
whose wonderful company and conversation gave rise to this d’var Torah.)
Loved reading your post, i am a muslim and i am sick and tired of the christians trying to demonize Hagar ( peace be upon her) and Ishmael( peace be upon him), i hold strong reverence for Sarah( peace be upon her) and Isaac (peace be upon him) but these completely biased christian beliefs are so much heartbreaking , it was so refreshing and heart warming to read your post:-)
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