Remember
this bumper sticker?
In
contradistinction, the Parents’ Mantra
is: “You can’t have
everything. Where would you put it?” (I
met a woman who told her husband this; apparently it is not for parents alone.)
The mantra rarely helps, because people go out into the world and see all there
is, and especially what their peers possess, and the dybbuk of desire pounces
on them.
It’s no
revelation that materialism sometimes gets the better of us and so, from time
to time, it’s
important to stop and consider the meaning we attach to “stuff” and how we might rethink our
relationship with material possessions. “The Life Twist Study” suggested that we are doing just
that. Conducted in 2013 in the aftermath of recession, global conflict, and in
an era of technological change at an unprecedented pace, the study revealed
that Americans rate wealth #20 out of a given 22 factors contributing to a
successful life. Far above wealth come: health (85%), having a good
marriage/relationship (81%), working a job you love (79%), time to pursue passions
(69%), and making a difference in people’s lives (62%). Only one in three
Americans considered wealth to be a key element of success. Twice that number
rated being physically fit as a key contributor to a successful life. The
numbers are encouraging.[1]
More and
more people talk about their “bucket lists.” Have experiences replaced possessions
as something people “acquire”? And is
this a modern phenomenon? Probably not. Rabbi Levi Yitzhak of Berditchev wrote
about the natural human desire to possess—be it objects or experiences—and offers
another alternative. But first, let’s take a look at the parashah.
Parshat
Tetzaveh describes the vestments of the kohanim (priests).
It seems to be all about “stuff,” especially the elaborate garb of the
High Priest, Aaron: robe, fringed tunic, sash, headdress, breast piece, and
ephod. Linen and fine dyed yarns woven and twisted, precious and semi-precious
stones encrusting the breastpiece, gold and more are used to make the
vestments. Consider how much stuff (underscored below) is involved in making
the priestly vestments, and how invested Torah is in it all:
וְזֶה הַדָּבָר אֲשֶׁר-תַּעֲשֶׂה לָהֶם,
לְקַדֵּשׁ אֹתָם--לְכַהֵן לִי: לְקַח פַּר אֶחָד בֶּן-בָּקָר, וְאֵילִם שְׁנַיִם--תְּמִימִם.
וְלֶחֶם מַצּוֹת,
וְחַלֹּת מַצֹּת
בְּלוּלֹת בַּשֶּׁמֶן, וּרְקִיקֵי מַצּוֹת, מְשֻׁחִים בַּשָּׁמֶן;
סֹלֶת חִטִּים,
תַּעֲשֶׂה אֹתָם. וְנָתַתָּ אוֹתָם עַל-סַל אֶחָד,
וְהִקְרַבְתָּ אֹתָם
בַּסָּל; וְאֶת-הַפָּר--וְאֵת,
שְׁנֵי הָאֵילִם. וְאֶת-אַהֲרֹן וְאֶת-בָּנָיו תַּקְרִיב,
אֶל-פֶּתַח אֹהֶל מוֹעֵד;
וְרָחַצְתָּ אֹתָם,
בַּמָּיִם. וְלָקַחְתָּ אֶת-הַבְּגָדִים, וְהִלְבַּשְׁתָּ אֶת-אַהֲרֹן אֶת-הַכֻּתֹּנֶת, וְאֵת מְעִיל הָאֵפֹד, וְאֶת-הָאֵפֹד וְאֶת-הַחֹשֶׁן;
וְאָפַדְתָּ לוֹ,
בְּחֵשֶׁב הָאֵפֹד.
וְשַׂמְתָּ הַמִּצְנֶפֶת,
עַל-רֹאשׁוֹ;
וְנָתַתָּ אֶת-נֵזֶר הַקֹּדֶשׁ,
עַל-הַמִּצְנָפֶת.
וְלָקַחְתָּ אֶת-שֶׁמֶן הַמִּשְׁחָה,
וְיָצַקְתָּ עַל-רֹאשׁוֹ;
וּמָשַׁחְתָּ,
אֹתוֹ. וְאֶת-בָּנָיו,
תַּקְרִיב;
וְהִלְבַּשְׁתָּם,
כֻּתֳּנֹת. וְחָגַרְתָּ אֹתָם אַבְנֵט אַהֲרֹן וּבָנָיו,
וְחָבַשְׁתָּ לָהֶם
מִגְבָּעֹת, וְהָיְתָה
לָהֶם כְּהֻנָּה, לְחֻקַּת עוֹלָם; וּמִלֵּאתָ יַד-אַהֲרֹן, וְיַד-בָּנָיו.
This
is what you shall do to them in consecrating them to serve Me as priests: Take
a young bull of the herd and two rams without blemish; also unleavened
bread, unleavened cakes with oil mixed in, and unleavened wafers spread
with oil—make these of choice wheat flour. Place these
in one basket and present them in the basket, along with the bull and
the two rams. Lead Aaron and his sons up to the entrance of the Tent of
Meeting, and wash them with water. Then take the vestments, and
clothe Aaron with the tunic, the robe of the ephod, and
the breast piece, and gird him with the decorated band of the
ephod. Put the headdress on his head, and place the holy diadem
upon the headdress. Take the anointing oil and pour it on his head and
anoint him. Then bring his sons forward; clothe them with tunics and
wind turbans upon them. And gird both Aaron and his sons with sashes.
And so they shall have priesthood as their right for all time. You shall
then ordain Aaron and his sons.
(Exodus 29:1-9)
At the end
of this description, Torah finally announces that once Moses has gathered
unleavened wafers, oil, and the requisite animals for sacrifice, and has
clothed Aaron and his sons in their priestly vestments, Moses is to ordain them
as priests. The term for ordination, milu’im, comes
from the root מלא, meaning “fill.” We might then understand the last
verse as “You shall
fill up Aaron and his sons.” Certainly,
Aaron and his sons are filled with objects (the vestments) and experiences (the
ordination and the sacrifices). But the hasidic master, Rabbi Levi Yitzhak of
Berditchev understands Exodus 29:9 to mean, “You shall fill up Aaron and his sons.” He explains:
There is
no completeness in matters of this world. We always lack for something in the
realm of physical pleasures. If you have everything else, you may still want
for the pleasure derived from respect. Or you may want because of sexual
desire. We always lack for something. In the religious life, however, the one
who serves is whole in every way. Those who seek Adonai lack for no good (Psalm
34:11). Thus the pleasure of serving God is greater than any other. Hold fast
to the life-force of serving the Infinite One, that which is whole in every
way. Then you, too, will naturally be whole and lack for naught. This is the
meaning of You shall fill the hand of Aaron and the hand of his sons. God
told Moses to see that he bring Aaron and his sons to that level where they
would cleave to holiness. When they came to feel the pleasure of that sublime
joy, their hands would be filled with all good and they would lack for nothing.
That is why this period [i.e., the dedication of the Mishkan] is called “the eight
days of milu’im, meaning “fulfillment.” This was when the Shekhinah came to
dwell among them, and they were filled with joy because of that holiness. (Kedushat
Levi on Exodus 29:9)
R. Levi
Yitzhak reminds us that giving is even more fulfilling than getting.
Similarly, psychiatrist Viktor Frankl,
who survived the Nazi death camps but lost his entire family, wrote in Man’s Search
for Meaning (1946) that finding meaning in life was essential to
survival in the camps. He wrote of two suicidal inmates whom he helped to find
something to live for: for one, it was his young son, sheltered in a foreign
country; for the other, a scientist, it was the books he wished to finish
writing. Note that both sources of meaning are also means of giving.
In a
famous experiment conducted in 2008[2], people
were given $5 or $20 and either
instructed to spend it on themselves, or on someone else. Which made them
happier? While the participants in the study expected that their happiness
would be boosted more by spending the cash on themselves, it turned out that
those who spent money on others (often called “Pro-social spending”) were
happier than those who spent it on themselves.
The Sages
shared this same wisdom in the Talmud in a wonderful and broader way:
Ben
Zoma would say:
Who
is wise? The one who learns from everyone, as it is written: from all my
teachers have I gained understanding (Psalm 119:99)
Who
is mighty? The one who conquers their evil impulse, as it is written: One who
is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and one who rules over his spirit,
than one who conquers a city (Proverbs 16:32).
Who
is rich? The one who rejoices in his portion, as it is written: When you eat
the labor of your hands, happy will you be and all will be well with you
(Psalm 128:2). “Happy will you be” refers
to this world; “all will be well with you” refers
to the world-to-come.
(Pirke
Avot 4:1)
It’s so easy
to lose sight of that wisdom, but so precious to reclaim it.
© Rabbi
Amy Scheinerman
[2] Dunn, E. W., Aknin, L. B., & Norton, M. I. (2014).
Prosocial spending and happiness: Using money to benefit others pays off.
Current Directions in Psychological Science, 23, 41–47.
